theology and the bathroom – not for humorless Christians

I was sitting on the couch and all was quiet when a sweet, three-year-old voice came from the bathroom.

Jack:  Mom, what animal or people doesn’t poop?

Me:  Everyone poops.

Jack:  Even God?

Me:  No, God’s not a person or an animal, He’s Spirit.


Me:  but maybe Jesus pooped when He was on the earth.


Jack:  Did Jesus’ wife poop?

Me:  Jesus didn’t have a wife.

Jack:  Yes, He did!

Me:  No, Honey, He didn’t.  

What’s this kid been reading?  I was half expecting him to bust out with the Mary Magdalene theory.  Battling heresies with a pre-schooler?  But no, it was just a misunderstanding.

Jack:  She was on he ark with Him!  

Me:  Oohhhh.  No, that was Noah and his wife.

Jack:  Oh.  

I was waiting for the next poop question.

Jack:  Did Noah marry his wife?


“And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.”  Deut 6:7  It doesn’t specifically mention anything about the bathroom, but I think it’s covered.


7 thoughts on “theology and the bathroom – not for humorless Christians

  1. sara says:

    So your little brother asks questions that would make a preacher blush too, huh? Good to know my little one isn’t alone in his strangeness. I guess kids think and ask these honest questions and I try to answer them honestly too, but I would never have guessed it would be possible to discuss the spiritual nature of God in relation to bathroom activities. Anyway, thanks for commenting!

  2. Beth/Mom2TwoVikings says:

    Too funny – must be this age because we had the most surreal conversation w/Flicka the other night. I know this is out of context but it went basically went like this (and imagine this through uncontrollable sobbing):

    I miss Daddy
    Daddy, don’t go to school
    I miss Daddy
    I miss Rolle (our dog who passed away 1.5 yrs ago)
    Rolle’s dead isn’t he?
    Rolle’s in heaven? (so sue me Pastor Don LOL)
    With Uncle David?
    But, I miss them
    They can’t see me
    They’ll never see me grow up
    They won’t recognize me
    They can? (so sue me again)
    I’ll see them one day?
    But I don’t wanna die!
    (Momma says “baby, God willing, you’ll be very old with children and grandchildren of your own before you’ll go to heaven.”)
    But, I have no one to marry cuz you said I can’t marry Pojke!
    (Momma explains that God’s already picked out the *exact* little boy for her and he’s out there somewhere growing up just like her)
    But, I’ll never find him!
    I miss him!
    (And, Momma walks away mumbling incoherently from the result of parental whiplash cause by an overemotional 4 yr old! LOL)

  3. sara says:

    Beth, I have a vivid memory sobbing in my mother’s arms when I was about 4 that I didn’t want to die. She said, “you’ll be very old.” I said, “I don’t care!” She said, “Don’t you want to be with Jesus?” I said, “No!” I really think this is an incredibly rational response – a natural horror of death. And it IS horrible. I am so glad to have a Redeemer who has conquered death.

    I Cor 15:54-56 “So when this corruptible shall have put on incorruption, and this mortal shall have put on immortality, then shall be brought to pass the saying that is written, Death is swallowed up in victory. O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory? The sting of death is sin; and the strength of sin is the law.”

    How to communicate the truth of the Gospel to a 4 yr old who already innately understands the need for it, I’m not sure, but I’ll be praying and thinking about it. Let me know if you come up with anything.

  4. maxdaddy says:

    Wow. Your son asks questions that I still ponder myself.
    Did Jesus reach for the remote or try to touch the stove when He was a baby — like MY kids do? Or did He just lie there…

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