Raising Adults

If my boys ever pass out of the girls-are-yucky phase, a daughter-in-law will one day point an accusing finger at me because “You’re son left the seat up.”

It’s been said (by whom I can’t remember) that we parents aren’t raising children, but future adults.  No pressure there.

But there is progress.  Today I’m celebrating the following recent entries in the win column:

  • I didn’t have to re-wash the dishes after my children did them!  They even washed the outside of the bowls.
  • Last week my 12-year-old asked, “Are you using the washer today?  I’d like to do my laundry.”  and then he did his laundry!  And put it away!  With only a couple of reminders!
  • He also bakes and washes up after.
  • The number of times I sit in pee on the toilet seat has dramatically diminished in the last few months.
  • My reluctant reader is reading (slowly) and writing letters and lists voluntarily.*

Their struggles are my struggles.  I know how hard it is to do things without being told.  I still hate brushing my teeth.  I still have to force myself to wash the dishes.  I still prefer to wear pajamas all day. It’s hard not to overeat.  It’s hard not to doodle around on the computer all day.  It’s hard to exercise regularly.  I have become accustomed to exerting my will over these difficulties, but it still feels hard and I sometimes fail.  So I understand why they question the need for a top sheet.

*Thanks, Julie for program recommendations. And thanks for documenting your own path through this “boybarian” wilderness.  It has been more helpful than I can explain to see your boys growing into responsible adults.

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7 thoughts on “Raising Adults

  1. learninglife203 says:

    I have heard that we are “raising adults” line also. I used to believe that but then I thought, “Adults shouldn’t NEED raising!” But I get the idea. I don’t think children should be held to the same expectations as adults. So I did change my view. I think they are adults in training. Because if adulthood is a job, we all know jobs require a certain amount of training and a learning curve. The more difficult the job the more training is needed. And man… being an adult is hard enough for some adults! Me included.

    On a lighter note mine are also getting into doing some chores and taking pride in the chores they do. They feel a sense of being more grown up, and that makes me feel more grown up. I did something right! WHOOHOO!!! It is really nice when they begin to gain a sense of responsibility. That gives me less things to space out on!

    You killed me with the dishes thing. The outside of the bowls! Don’t you love little surprises like that? LOL!

  2. learninglife203 says:

    It’s funny because once we become parents we start seeing how crazy parents really are. Some are so hovering and don’t allow their kids any room to learn the ropes while others throw them into the deep end and refuse to offer any help at all. I always question myself. Sometimes I think I have a good balance other times I wonder how I was ever allowed to be in charge of other human beings.

    Doing things without being taught over and over. That is something some folks never do! Anyone married to my husband can vouch for the truth in that! 😉

  3. learninglife203 says:

    This blog is bringing back a lot of wonderful memories though. When my oldest first started helping with laundry she loved taking clothes from the washer and putting them into the dryer. One day the washer did not go through the complete cycle so the clothes were sitting in soapy, dirty water. That didn’t stop her from tossing them into the dryer. LOL! Good times!

    • Sara McDaren says:

      I’m as shocked as you are. I’m pretty sure he must have been completely out of clothes. Since I got wise to him shoving things under the bed, he cleans his room by shoving everything into the hamper.

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